My Journey with Cushing’s disease
At 30 years old, I was fit, healthy and naturally a size 8–10. I knew my body well, which is why, when it started to
“Sex is a young person’s game” is a line often heard. As menopause hits, the body goes through changes and, as people stop having periods, it can feel like the last hurrah for some people’s sex lives. Many suffer a low libido and find intimacy during menopause difficult, especially as vaginal dryness and a loss of elasticity in the vulva can cause painful sex.
Menopause takes the body through second puberty with mood swings, aches and pains, hair loss, hot flashes, and sleepless nights. Symptoms like this make it understandable that sex is the last thing on many women’s minds!
But what if I told you there are ways to counteract the impact menopause has on your sexuality and there are remedies to help increase your libido?
These solutions range from hormone therapy for low libido to supplements and natural remedies that can relieve many of the other symptoms of menopause. There are a variety of things you can do to help bring back intimacy both during and after menopause.
In this guide, we will explore sex during menopause, looking at the causes of low libido during menopause as well as the relationship between sex, menopause, and intimacy. We will end with three tips to help bring back the spark in your sex life during and after menopause.
If you’ve been suffering from a loss of sex drive, please know you are not alone! In a study by the British Menopause Society, it was found that over half of women experience a loss or decrease in their libido during menopause.
Many believe that menopause causes a lack of libido, but it starts earlier than that. As you enter perimenopause, your estrogen takes a nosedive, which is the leading cause of why you experience low libido during perimenopause and menopause which can impact intimacy between you and your partners during menopause.
Alongside a low libido being a symptom of menopause, there can be a knock-on effect from other symptoms experienced throughout perimenopause and menopause. With hot flushes, night sweats and sleepless nights, achy breasts, and hair loss, it’s safe to say that many menopausal symptoms don’t leave you feeling the most relaxed. With all this going on, it’s understandable you might not want to get intimate and explore your sexuality during menopause.
However, if you are looking for ways to increase your libido, keep your active sex life during menopause and even regain your intimacy after menopause, then this article is for you. Check out some of the ways you can increase your libido below:
If you’re looking for a natural remedy to increase your libido, then start with changes to your diet and lifestyle. Healthy eating and regular exercise can help elevate many of the symptoms and naturally boost your mood and libido.
If you’re looking for an extra boost but you’re not keen on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) then adding ginseng, Ashwagandha root, and even royal jelly to your diet could help naturally increase your libido as well as reduce many of the other symptom experiences during and after menopause. If you look in your local pharmacy or health shop, you will find that many offer vitamin and mineral mixes specifically for menopause that can help elevate multiple symptoms.
Although there is still debate on it, sex and masturbation can also be a natural remedy to increase your libido and keep your body producing natural lubrication. One benefit of an orgasm is it can help you to relax enough to naturally get your mojo back all by yourself! Regular sex during menopause also helps with vaginal and vulva health as it keeps the muscles in use and the opening from shrinking.
Hormone replacement therapy is also an option for increasing your libido, as well as helping with other symptoms, as you go through menopause. HRT aims to balance your hormone levels and boost those you are lacking, as both estrogen and testosterone levels decrease as you go through menopause.
Studies show that, after a six-month period, estrogen replacement therapy (ERT) helps to reduce vaginal dryness and increase natural lubrication. This can make having sex less painful as well as help with increasing the libido during menopause. It also has long-lasting effects on vulva health and allows for intimacy after menopause.
You can take HRT in a pill, patch, cream, or even in injection form. Depending on what your doctor recommends you will either take a mixture of estrogen and progestogen or just estrogen continuously or in cycles.
It is essential to note you should always check with your doctor to see if HRT is an option for you. Certain people are unable to go on HRT because of health complications or medical histories. This can include a risk of breast cancer or if you have blood clots.
With all the changes the body goes through during menopause, it’s no wonder that menopause causes a lack of libido in over 50% of women. From feeling uncomfortable in your own body to feeling out of control with your mental health and mood swings, you can lose that casual intimacy you once had with yourself, your sex drive, and your partner. But this shouldn’t be the case.
Sex during menopause can be a great way to regain the lost intimacy and keep it after menopause has ended. Sexual activity and orgasms can also be beneficial for your overall health and wellbeing as well. There are many health benefits to sex, including helping with sleep issues, mood-boosting, and even helping with cramps, aches, and pains.
For older women, continuing to have sex or masturbate can also help with keeping the opening of the vagina open (as it shrinks as we get older). It also keeps the muscles in use, so the vulva retains elasticity and helps you to keep producing wetness to counteract that menopausal vaginal dryness. In this case, your vulva is only as old as you feel!
If you are going through menopause or have already been through it but want a way to regain some intimacy after menopause, below are three tips for enjoying sex during menopause, whether it’s with a sex toy or with a partner:
The first tip for enjoying your sex life during menopause is to always bring the lube!
Vaginal dryness happens and if you haven’t had sex for a while the muscles may be tight, and penetration can be uncomfortable or painful. To make sure there is no pain (or just for some extra wetness to aid with stimulation) using a natural or water-based lube is a great way to add sensation and ease comfort.
Sex toys are a great way to explore your sexuality during menopause. They offer new sensations and can stimulate the vulva and the rest of your body in ways you never expected. Whether used on your own or with a partner, using a vibrator can spice up your routine and provide additional stimulation during sex.
Masturbation or using sex toys with a partner can be a great way to change things up. If you find that penetrative sex has been painful why not use sex toys to start with to get you used to penetration? Or why not invest in a wand or clitoral stimulator and focus on non-penetrative activities such as clitoral stimulation during menopause?
My final tip for increasing your libido and regaining intimacy during menopause is to slow it all down. Take time to build up to the act and don’t just focus on the vulva. For you and your partner, this can be the time to enjoy new forms of intimacy, try new positions, or maybe start with a massage and build up to penetration. Use your sex toys or get your partner to focus on giving you clitoral or oral pleasure as you relax.
The benefit of slowing things down is it will allow you to be present in your body, and heighten sensation, which should naturally build up your libido and enhance your mood.
If you and your partner haven’t been intimate for a while, going slow can also be a great way to reconnect on a deeper emotional level. Long glances, talking to each other, and even just making out like teenagers can be a great way to be emotionally intimate along with the physical.
Although your libido may lower over time because of age, it is important to remember that age and menopause don’t mean you’re done being sexually active if you don’t want to be. Being sexually active can keep you fit and help you stem aging for just a little while longer! It is also important to note that if you find sex is no longer of interest to you, that is also completely normal. Studies show that over half of women in their 50s stop having sex, with only 27% of women having sex in their 70s and 80s.
To conclude, going through menopause means your body is maturing and aging. Although the idea of this might be unsettling, remember it is natural and healthy even if the symptoms aren’t the nicest. Also, take note that aging doesn’t mean you’re done with your sex life and your relationship with yourself. I will repeat what I’ve already said: sex is a natural remedy for sleepless nights, bad moods, and vulva health! It can be a natural remedy for your libido and help you relax.
Overall, sex during menopause can be beneficial to your fitness and mood. I encourage you to explore your sexuality during menopause and learn new things about yourself.
Cleveland Clinic. Masturbation. Cleveland Clinic. my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24332-masturbation#
Currie H, Moger SJ. Menopause – Understanding the impact on women and their partners. Post Reprod Health. 2019 Dec;25(4):183-190.
Hambach A, Evers S, Summ O, Husstedt IW, Frese A. (2013). The impact of sexual activity on idiopathic headaches: An observational study. Cephalalgia. 33(6):384-389. doi: 10.1177/0333102413476374
Kraft, PhD. How sex changes after Menopause. Hopkins Medicine. hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/how-sex-changes-after-menopause
NHS. Hormone Replacement Therapy. NHS. nhs.uk/conditions/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/
Positive Pause. What natural remedies help menopause with low libido? Positive Pause. positivepause.co.uk/menopause-blog/natural-remedies-help-menopause-low-libido
Womens Health. Yes, you can have better sex in midlife and the years beyond. Harvard University. health.harvard.edu/womens-health/yes-you-can-have-better-sex-in-midlife-and-in-the-years-beyond
Sexual Health and Menopause. Frequently Asked Questions. North American Menopause.
Sarrel PM. (2000). Effects of hormone replacement therapy on sexual psychophysiology and behavior in postmenopause. J Womens Health Gend Based Med. 2000;9 Suppl 1:S25-32. doi: 10.1089/152460900318830. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10695871/
Scavello I, Maseroli E, Di Stasi V, Vignozzi L. (2019). Sexual Health in Menopause. Medicina (Kaunas). 2019 Sep 2;55(9):559. doi: 10.3390/medicina55090559. PMID: 31480774; PMCID: PMC6780739.
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